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Thursday, August 12, 2010

How to kill a spider

Addison woke up this morning and the first thing we do is go potty. Yes, it is a family effort. Jackson hangs around in the bathroom with us. (I will save you the details because everything below happens during this very moment)…

I picked up the bathroom garbage knowing Jackson grabs anything he can get his little hands on and shoves it in his face. Pretty disgusting. I know.

As I do this I notice a huge spider. Jackson is two inches away from it.

The damn thing has built its web in between Addison’s Elmo potty seat and the garbage. I must have disturbed it. I shout “Holy Fuck!” (more than once). Jackson starts screaming, as I throw him in his crib, and I yank Addison off her little blue toddler potty- midstream. Thankfully she opted to use that instead of Elmo seat because I would have been wearing the bastard.

I am terrified of spiders. Well, now so is Jackson- he is 10 months.

I shut the door call my husband. He can’t help. Call my mom. She can’t help. Fuck.

I opt to kill it myself. I get the bug spray, point & shoot. The bastard put up
quite a fight. Finally I saturated it enough that it curls up and dies. The bathroom is literally soaking wet from the bug spray.

While doing this- Jackson is still screaming and I am praying that Addison doesn’t pick-up on my language. No such luck. I can hear her crying,“Oh No! Oh No, my fucking Elmo Potty”. (more than once). Shit.

Finally, I am able to move Addison’s potty stuff. I set it up in my bedroom bathroom. This is where it will stay until my husband is home from work and can get rid of the thing. I just hope Addison can make it to the other side of the house every time she has to go.

For those of you who know me. This was quite a moment.
Today I killed a spider.


Pam said...

Returning your follow from Bloggy Moms. That spider adventure was funny. :)

Randa @ The Bewitchin' Kitchen said...

Returning your follow! Thank you!

thepunkrockmom said...

Trust me, you are not alone about spiders or the bathroom stalkers! We haven't had a private potty session since our kids were born practically, save for the times we are quick enough and remember to shut the door ;).

My kids also put everything in their mouths and my 9 month old's favorite toy in the house is the toilet. You would think we were torturing him each time we have to wrestle him away from it. LOL!

And good for you for killing the spider! I have had one too many close encounters like this to even list. And trust me, my 2 1/2 year old has way too many "sentence enhancers" in his vocabulary than a 2 year old should have. ;)

Love your blog! Thanks for stopping by mine!

Mom2zqb said...

I'm returning the follow.

I'm terrified of spiders. I actually bribe any child with candy, pop whatever so they will kill it for me. They know my scream and come running with shoes. It's kinda funny because the 3 year old yells "Super spider killers to the rescue!"

Becky said...

I hate spiders and avoid having to do that actual killing at all costs. This was hilarious (sorry, I am sure it wasn't for you!). Littlies pick up the naughy word so quick, don't they.

Anonymous said...

I hate spiders and will ALWAYS make one of my boys kill them for me... BUT if noone is home, I grab the biggest shoe I can find and start smacking away, eyes closed. AUGH

Leena said...

I hate spiders too and would have reacted the exact same way!!
Love the way you narrated this incident:)