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Friday, August 13, 2010

Selfish Me

I am selfish.
Yes, the above statement is very true.

I have no reason to be. After all, I am the oldest of three. I have had to share almost everything my entire life. Perhaps that is why.

Last night I went to bed late; by late I mean 1am. My husband falls asleep with in seconds of lying down- I hate him for this. I however, toss & turn, watch TV, replay my day and sometimes worry about the next. The last time I looked at the clock was 1am.

I was up late because we are (correction I am) driving to Ocala tonight to see my bestie, her hubby and their little baby boy. The hubby, kids and I are visiting them for the weekend. I was up packing and getting things together in preparation for our weekend trip. My goal is when the hubby gets home from work this evening; we leave.

I was hoping to get some sleep knowing I would be up with Jackson at 6:30am and not able to nap. I wanted to be rested for the four hour drive I am going to have make.

This is how last night played out:

Addison woke at 1:30am. Shit. I put her in bed with us.

After fighting to get her to sleep in the middle of the bed rather than on mommy’s side, it was 2am. Finally some sleep.

Jackson wakes at 4am. I yell; “goddamnit". No one moves…I wake my husband (who has to get up for work at 5:30am) and say “you need to get him.” Yes, I realize this was selfish but I was tired and I will be the one driving not him; he will be the one sleeping. I wanted sleep.

He tends to Jackson; warms him a bottle and brings him in bed with us. Jackson throws-up all over our bed. FUCK! I chase them both out of the room and clean the bed as much as I can without disturbing the quietly sleeping toddler that lays in the middle.

I peacefully go back to sleep. Selfish? Yes; I know. I wanted sleep.

6:15am Jackson is back in bed with Addison and me. The hubby has left for work.

6:30am Jackson is awake and ready to play. FANTASTIC! (sense my sarcasm)

7am I call the hubby to bitch. Complaining about how I was up all night.
Complaining about not being able to nap today. Complaining about being the one who will be up driving tonight. I end the conversation with “sounds like fun?”. (sense more sarcasm)

His response is “Yup”.

“Yup?! Oh really yup? You ass”... as I hang up the phone.

Yup is such a lazy, uncompassionate word. I hate the word yup.

Perhaps he will be the one driving; being that I am so selfish…

6 comments:

Simplegirl said...

Here you & feel you. Now following your blog. Hope you can come by at http://inspirationsbyd.blogspot.com

Simplegirl said...

Oops! see you there already:-)

Mica's Truth said...

This was my night last night. We ended up in bed with a 2 year old and 6 month. Though my husband didn't wake up,he goes to sleep as soon as hit sits, lays or stands. I don't get that it takes me hours to sleep. But I was up half the night trading between kids.

BTW - you joined my blog on www.joyofgivingbirth.com returning the favor, if you get a chance please join the ning community at www.joyofgivingbirth.ning.com it just launched and we could use more moms like you. We're going to have some interviews coming and a link/badge page is being created for members.

Melanie said...

OH I feel you! I'm a Mommy of 4 *sigh* My hubs NEVER got up with my kids, I was up all night with them, all day. Didn't matter what was going on, always me. I would do the same bitching (which really, it's not, cause it's our right since we're going through so much) Either way, been there , still there, done that, still doing that. Men..*jabs eye* please don't get me started.
Relax, take a breather, remember :) Tomorrow can be much better!!!
Thanks for stopping by my Blog! Hope to keep you around,here as your new follower!
~Melanie

Becky said...

I hear you! My husband never, ever got up to our chilrden during the night. Even once they were bottle fed and I often suggested that he COULD get up for at least one bottle feed. Or get up early the next morning instead of snoozing.

nvrnvr said...

I know how you feel! Unfortunately once the kids grow up you'll have them to content will also!