Addison woke up this morning and the first thing we do is go potty. Yes, it is a family effort. Jackson hangs around in the bathroom with us. (I will save you the details because everything below happens during this very moment)…
I picked up the bathroom garbage knowing Jackson grabs anything he can get his little hands on and shoves it in his face. Pretty disgusting. I know.
As I do this I notice a huge spider. Jackson is two inches away from it.
The damn thing has built its web in between Addison’s Elmo potty seat and the garbage. I must have disturbed it. I shout “Holy Fuck!” (more than once). Jackson starts screaming, as I throw him in his crib, and I yank Addison off her little blue toddler potty- midstream. Thankfully she opted to use that instead of Elmo seat because I would have been wearing the bastard.
I am terrified of spiders. Well, now so is Jackson- he is 10 months.
I shut the door call my husband. He can’t help. Call my mom. She can’t help. Fuck.
I opt to kill it myself. I get the bug spray, point & shoot. The bastard put up
quite a fight. Finally I saturated it enough that it curls up and dies. The bathroom is literally soaking wet from the bug spray.
While doing this- Jackson is still screaming and I am praying that Addison doesn’t pick-up on my language. No such luck. I can hear her crying,“Oh No! Oh No, my fucking Elmo Potty”. (more than once). Shit.
Finally, I am able to move Addison’s potty stuff. I set it up in my bedroom bathroom. This is where it will stay until my husband is home from work and can get rid of the thing. I just hope Addison can make it to the other side of the house every time she has to go.
For those of you who know me. This was quite a moment.
Today I killed a spider.