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Thursday, May 5, 2011

FEAR & Day 93. 272 Days Left.

Who can explain fear? I certainly can not. As a child, I wasn't a complete scaredy-cat, but scary movies and being in the dark were issues and spiders continue to be problematic and one or two other things give me the creeps. All in all, I'm fairly brave….I think. Even though I know people who don't mind the dark and love spiders, it makes me want to ask those people what is wrong with you?

Fears are strange creatures.
Often times unexplainable. Often times-
life altering.

Tuesday night while at the park I remembered the moment I feared most in life. We went with our friends and their two daughters. The girls were running around together and picked-up another friend. Suddenly, they began rolling down a small hill in the grass. Addison wanted to join; but she, like me, stood frozen.

The day in the park with all the bees came rushing back. I encouraged Addison to join the girls; she stood there looking at me. I could read the look of fear on her face. I was not persistent, she was not ready. I turn and see Jackson tumbling around with the girls, my heart stopped. Moments later, Addison decided to join.

I was encouraging. Panicked. I was fearful.

I immediately began checking the grass, looking for any signs of bees or underground hives. I found a drain in the area, inspected it closely. After finding nothing, I told the kids to stay away from the drain. I still refused to keep my eyes off them.

I listened to them laugh. Addison was rolling around, in the grass, laughing. She was laughing. I can breath… but only for the moment.

Because I know the next time, the next park, I will fear the same.

(we have visited many, many parks since the bee incident; however, this was the first time since Addison has actually played in the grass)

What do you FEAR most?
Have you experienced it?
How did you handle the situation?


Day 93

Jackson sippy cup discovery

Both he and the sofa- covered in milk

Addison did the very same, when she was two yrs old, with her milk; except she coated every inch of the nursery with tiny milk dots. I still find evidence of her milkcapade- she is three.


heidi said...

How scary the original incident must have been!! It's so hard to put ourselves (and our kids!) out there again after something traumatic happens.

Two of the three things I always feared most in life, happened. And we survived.

Skye said...

I remember reading about that - that is still scary - it's like post traumatic stress syndrome now. I don't blame you. It might be a while before you are at ease with that ... it couldn't have been easy to go through what you guys did with the bees.

Lindsay said...

I've never been through something as scary as that with my babies. I have to commend you, you are trying to work through that fear with your kids, and that's awesome.

Foster said...

Your blog is so adorable, I'm giving you an award. Come claim it at:

Anonymous said...

Beautiful photos. I don't know why but I fear spiders!! I don't mind the dark at all but if I see something with 8 legs moving in my vicinity it completely freaks me out!!!

CJ xx

Life by Cynthia said...

I was on the edge of my seat reading this. Still fresh in my mind was your post when you talked about "that day". Sigh (of relief)...I am so happy that Addison was able to join in. You did it! I'm glad that you let them gently work their way through their fear while dealing with your own. I am proud of you!!! I don't know if I would've been able to do it.

I have an unreasonable fear of mice and other furry rodent types...Dunno why, none has ever hurt me.

mominrome said...

hello!!! I got here through bloggymoms!!
Love it here!! :)

mommysankey said...

@heidi I am so sorry you and your family had to experience any horrifying moments. I hope each day, as the experiences passed, became a little easier. Wishing you continued healing.

mommysankey said...

Thank you Skye. I just have to remind myself, Addison turns to me for strength and support; I have to be certain I give her that and she does not see my fear. I mostly fear that the anxiety and fear will not go away- for me. I only hope it continues to become a distant memory for Addison.

mommysankey said...

Thank you Lindsay- I am trying to work through the fear, some days with little ease. I try not to let the kids, especially Addison, see or feel the panic I am feeling. Although I must say, when I see a bee, even one- I hold my breath and coax the kids to another area.

mommysankey said...

I am sorry you did not read this post or the post my fear is the result of. My only question to you is how do you leave a generic comment on a post titled FEAR?

mommysankey said...

@Crystal Jigsaw
Trust me I am right there with you with spiders- hate em'. 6 months of the year our trees are taken over by giant golden orbe spiders. Seriously- the trees covered (30 spiders in one tree). Sick! We live close to a sanctuary so the spread out along the area. I have a difficult time walking the dogs- we really don't walk.

mommysankey said...

@Life by Cynthia
It is amazing the strength we mother have- I am always amazed by what I can handle.

I am not afraid of rodents but I certainly would not like to have one in my house. Spiders (and bees) are my thing- Terrified. Yuck!

mommysankey said...

I am glad you enjoy my blog... but are you enjoying the pictures (wich is fine- my babies are adorable) or the posts? I am going to leave you with the same comment as another fellow "follower"...

I am sorry you did not read this post or the post my fear is the result of. My only question to you is how do you leave a generic comment on a post titled FEAR?