“Mommy Juice” & Day 76. 289 Days Left.

I enjoy wine.

Okay, I really, really enjoy wine.

Whether you're a stay-at-home mom, work-at-home mom or supermom– most of us share a secret - that as soon as there's a break in the action, it's time for a little "Mommy Juice".

Maybe it's with friends around the kitchen table or the second you take off those heels and contemplate dinner; you settle down for a two-minute breather and pour yourself a glass of wine.

Hey, I do the same thing at the end of the day…

It all begins while I am making dinner and continues after the kiddos are finally in bed.

It's that perfect moment when I can just – chill; a little relaxation after chasing around and meeting the demands of two screaming toddlers while yelling at three cats and three dogs.

It is the time of the day when I know the hubby is on his way home from work. I turn a movie on for the kids and pour my first glass of wine.

It's when the kids are having a little quiet time of their own.
This is my Time Out moment.

Addison will sometimes come into the kitchen to see if she can help. She will ask if it is time for my “Mommy Juice”; a term she coined from the hubby and I hate. I explain that "Mommy is enjoying a quiet moment with a glass of wine”. After all, don’t we all deserve to do something for ourselves? This is how I decompress from a long day at the office with the kiddos.
It's really as simple as that.

I grew up with wine being served at our family gatherings with an explanation of what it is, how it's to be consumed and that it's not something that is secretive but rather an integrated part of the dining experience for adults. I plan on doing the same with my children. Why hide something? I rather educate.

I don’t think Addison is more interested, not at this point, but I would like to think she will grow up with a better understanding, respect and knowledge of responsibility.

Do you drink wine in front of your children?

If so, the next time you're sitting around with your hubby or friends enjoying a glass, try thinking about how you can explain to your young child that the "juice" that you're drinking comes from grapes but has undergone a process that makes it a drink for adults. That it's a process that's been going on for thousands of years; converting grapes into wine.

It's that simple.
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Day 76
Unwinding with Tinker Bell

The Airplane & Day 75. 290 days Left.

A wife's guide for starting the perfect argument with your hubby…



let your parents talk you into assembling a toy
<-----like this. Step One for creating an argument: Placement of the box before it is even opened… after all you open the box where you are going to assemble the toy right? Well, not according to the hubby. He decided to start in the garage. Why? I still do not know and if you ask or suggest the box be moved, creates a perfect reason for argument #1. After much bitching convincing, by me, the box was moved to a shaded area outside.

Step Two for creating an argument: The instruction manual and the list of tools. Your ideas of tools are far different from his. What do you really know anyway, you are just a woman. And by all means DO NOT suggest he read the entire instruction manual before assembly!



Step Three for creating an argument: Laying out the parts. Do not suggest any of the following: laying the parts out by color, number or size. Because even though he has NOT read the entire manual, he is the man and he knows best.


Step Four for creating an argument: Leaving the hubby “hanging” as he attempts to assemble the toy himself in the 85 degree South Florida heat. Meanwhile you are in the air-conditioned house trying to get two overtired and cranky sweet toddlers to nap and dozing yourself.

(Hubby's progress after 2 1/2 hours)

Step Five for creating an argument: Ask your hubby (after 4 hrs 40 min) how much longer he thinks he has.

Or even better, do this…
Unleash the anxiously waiting excited toddlers on him.




Addison: "Daddy are you almost done building the airplane?
Ok, we help you Daddy."

Total time for toy assembly: 8 hours over two days. Number of arguments with the hubby… I lost count after the first day.

Note to my mother:If you ever purchase a toy with this type of assembly again I am going to bury you under the toy, before set-up, so the kiddos can stomp all over you.

Finally! Playing with the finished toy.




According to my mom: “worth every second!”


According to the hubby:

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Day 75
Keeping busy while waiting for the airplane

Day 74: Get off the phone! 291 Days Left.

What happens when I leave my monsterschildren unintended in the bathroom to assist my mother SOMEONE, over the phone, with how-to facebook questions…

Notice the three empty rolls.
The stupid mommy left the child proof cabinet lock undone.

Note to self… Get off the phone!

Lets Play! & Day 73. 292 Days Left.

Today I took the kids to my oldest friend’s house for a playdate with her daughter.

The age difference between Bina and Addison is only 6 months. From the very first moment they just connected; much like Fluff and me. I have known Fluff for 26 years… WOW! That really dates us… we were in the same Kindergarten class and became inseparable. How amazing it is to watch our children grow together.

What I love about playdates is that the kids develop relationships along with a strong sense of self and they learn important concepts like sharing. What I love most about playdates is that I get to engage in adult conversations with a mommy who understands everything I am experiencing. Also, because Fluff and I have been close for so many years the conversation is easy, comfortable, enjoyable… effortless.

The girls just love one another but Fluff recently has added a new member to our growing playgroup and needed some time before I threw Addison and Jackson back in her face. Her daughter Bella is 2 ½ months and growing fast. Poor Jackson is going to be so out numbered.

Spinning Addison in the egg chair


writing letters... until Jackson tried drawing on other surfaces


Snack break


Lunch time


Today was a great success; Jackson did not break anything.
Just a little mishap with markers and a table of water which made for great splashing fun!

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Day 73
Addison first slushy

Five rules of toddlerism & Day 72. 293 Days Left.

Thursday night, St. Patty’s day, we I decided the kids and I needed to get out of the house. I called the hubby and told him when he got home from work, we were going out.

We decided to take the kids to a family event in Fort Lauderdale. Once arriving, we were a bit disappointed so we walked to another restaurant. The kids were amazing during dinner; well behaved, sat, ate and enjoyed the bagpipe player which came to each table. Were these really my children?

We got home around 9pm and it was all downhill from there. They cried in perfect harmony; Addison until 11:30pm and Jackson 12am. What the hell happened to them between the time we left the restaurant and got home? Jackson we blamed teething. Addison, well, what was her excuse? Oh, that’s right, she is three. Yes, this is more like it… welcome back kids!

The kids woke at 7:30am and were already shouting their morning demands: mil-mil-mil(milk), chocolate milk, cereal, potty, new diaper... whine, whine, whine, wine… mmm wine. It’s only 7:30am; right.

I pry open my eyes and meet every demand. Good mommy. My only hope was that I can get the monsters down for a nap by 11am. We had plans to go to my friend Jayme’s and hang out by the pool with her and our other girlfriend (my kids call Aunt Wiz). Aunt Wiz has a son; B will be one in a couple of weeks.

Rule number one: Never compare your children to B. He is an amazing baby (not that I don’t think my children are amazing because they are)… but B was born without a fussy switch. This baby is quiet, content, happy; he is not either of my children. Right, we are not comparing.

12:30 in the afternoon, no sight of napping or the hopes of a nap; we pack-up, walk the dogs and head out for our day of fun in the sun.

We get to Jayme’s and shortly after Aunt Wiz and cousin B arrive. Addison is so excited. If there is any person Addison loves as much as mommy, daddy, her Auntie M (my sister), Aunt Wennie, uncles or her grand-parents it is Aunt Wiz. Addison jumps up and down clapping her hands. This is what she has been waiting for the past week. Maybe that is why she has not been sleeping… excitement.

Rule number two: Never tell your toddler they are going to do something fun and exciting until the day of the event; the anticipation leads to no sleep and as we all know I NEED my sleep!

Five minutes into Aunt Wiz and B being in the house, Addison starts the “lets go to the pool” over and over and over. We get everyone ready and walk to the pool. The boys had a great time. Both Jackson and B were content lounging in their floaties. Addison had fun but after 15 minutes she was whining that we needed to go back to Jayme’s house because “ I so so so cold and tired and need to go to Jayme’s to take a nap because I so cranky” as only Addison can so eloquently say.

Meanwhile, I knew what everyone was thinking. I was thinking the same damn thing… we packed bags for three babies, blew up water wings for Addison, two floaties for the boys, packed a cooler with snacks and drinks and walked over to the pool; now 20 minutes later Addison is ready to leave?!

Rule number three: An overtired toddler and the sun are not great combinations.

Jayme suggests we take the kids for a walk to see the horses- we did just that. I thought it would be something Addison enjoyed; she loves horses. She was a little fussy though. I think the combination of a late night, no nap and the sun left her withered. Jackson, however, loved the horses. His face light up as he stuck his finger in one horses nostril. Notice how nothing was mentioned about B. He was content the entire time. Just happy to be hanging off his mommy’s hip.

We get back to the house, change and Jayme starts dinner. Two more friends of hers would be joining for dinner; one of which is a mommy with her two daughters a two yr old and 4 yr old. Good, Addison will have playmates. Maybe that will keep her busy.

I scramble to try and get the kids down for a nap before everyone arrives; however, Jackson is to busy going up and down the stairs. All. Fucking. Day. I hate stairs. Really what is the fascination with stairs? The three of us took turns getting him. The moment we left the living room we would hear Addison yell “Mommy Jackson is up the stairs again. Come get him”. Fantastic.

Fifteen minutes before everyone arrives, Jackson finally falls to sleep. I lay him on the sofa and sigh. I will actually be able to eat dinner.

The girls begin running around the house, screaming… I look over and Jackson sleeps through the chaos. He is exhausted. He was sleeping soundly until the girls began jumping onto the sofa- he wakes screaming just as Jayme was putting dinner on the table. So much for enjoying dinner. I sit him on my lap and we he eats.

Rule number four:Do not have a happy thought before enjoying the experience.

After dinner, the kids continue to run around and play. I go out to the living room to check them and I smell poop. I check Jackson; nothing. I look in Addison’s direction. She knows what’s next. “Addison come here and let me check your underwear”. Yup, sure enough my overtired, stubborn three yr old decided to poop in her underwear… I don’t know what was most frustrating the fact I knew she was overtired and would mostly likely poop, that I forgot to bring an extra pair of pull-ups or underwear or that her response to “Addison why did you poop in your underwear” was “because I did”.

Rule number five: Always pack an extra pair of underwear and if you have not learned this after the third time of experiencing the very same situation, you are an asshole like me!

When I have the two of them alone it becomes very difficult to sit and enjoy myself. Most times I find I am having less fun and hate the fact I can’t just sit and talk like everyone else. Instead, I am running around like a "NO" screaming mad person chasing two toddlers room to room. Why was Aunt Wiz able to help with dinner, sit and enjoy eating her meal, help with clean up and engage in conversation with other adults? Why was B contently crawling around on the floor not making a peep?

As I sat at the table, while I hear my monsters screaming in the background I think to myself… well, they really could be worse. I have seen bad kids and my kids are not bad; they are toddlers.

Lesson learned: parent’s are always most critical of their own children. They weren’t that naughty… just obnoxious enough to drive me insane.
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Day 72
All in a weekend
Sunday Playdate in the Park





Addison exhausted


Sunday morning was spent at the park, the afternoon at Pop-pop and Gredda's house; ending with a sleep over for Addison.



Monday afternoon, I went to pick-up Addison. The hubby met us at my parent's house and we ended up staying for dinner.

Tuesday, I was happy to be home...

The ending result... a week of being out, a week of late nights and early mornings, a week of cranky overtired babies and a week to finish a post.

Take a bite & Day 71. 294 Days Left.

Three words I hate most.

Seriously,I must repeat them a million times during the course of dinner.

Addison was not always a horrible eater. In fact, it seems as though she only has a difficult time during dinner.

See the look of disgust on her face... she really does not want to eat what is crammed in her mouth...

I touched a bit on her eating habit once before. At the time she was going through a cinnamon toast and cereal only phase….ah, toddlerism.

Dinner takes anywhere from an hour to two, sometimes longer. “Addison, take a bite” seems to be the only dinner conversation. Each time she politely responds yells “no mommy, I have food in my mouth; see! I need to take a drink to send it to my belly.” She is so matter-of-fact. Apparently, Mommy is so stupid.

I sit and watch as she swooshes her chocolate milk around her food stuffed cheeks in the hopes she can hide the taste of the repulsive dinner I spent the last hour preparing and cooking. Disgusting. Toddlers are disgusting. Don't you think?
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Day 71
Happy St. Patty's Day

Be safe

The demise of "Boy" & Day 70. 295 Days Left.

Addison came running out of her room “Oh no, Oh no, mommy Boy!”

She was heartbroken and crying…

What could possibly be wrong with Boy, a Fisher-price pull along dog, to warrant so much drama?

I asked Addison what happened… she answered “the damn cat ate him mommy. See?”

She is holding the red rope that once was attached to Boy’s collar.

The fucking cat chewed the rope off of Boy’s collar. That damn cat walks around the house eating strings until he throws up. every. where. I hope he dies. I digress.

“I so sad mommy, no more Boy. He is my best friend mommy!” Tears are streaming down her face.

Beloved Boy, who has been dragged lovingly along for two years and has the wear on his wheels showing his many travels, who has his very own dog mat in front of Addison’s Tinkerbell kitchen.

Boy, who is feed nightly a bowl of plastic cheese, bread, eggs and an occasional cupcake. His plastic food bowl was selected with BFF plated on the front. I remember the day Addison picked out the bowl. “Mommy, what does BFF say?” I told her it stands for best friends forever. She grabs the bowl and throws it into our shopping cart. I ask her what we needed with a dog bowl. She looks at me and says “it for Boy! He is my best friend.” The tone in her voice said duh mommy! Do they come equipped with that tone? She is three!

I tried to calm her down explaining that I could fix Boy. I would take her to go pick out a new rope.

I was shocked by what came next…

“No not a rope mommy it’s his leash!”

“We need a red one!”

Okay Addison, we will go pick out a new red leash for boy. Finally, something stupid mommy said got her approval.

As promised we headed out in search of a new rope leash for Boy.

Instead he came home with a fancy new leash and matching collar.
I would like to see the cat try to chew that in half. Maybe he will choke.

When did three year olds get so damn smart?


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Day 70
Going Shopping

Beauty Sleep & Day 69. 296 Days Left.

Apparently 6am is the new 8am around here.

A few days ago, when Jackson was waking up at 6am it wasn't so bad well, because Addison was actually going to bed at a decent hour and sleeping through the night.

Seriously who am I kidding? It was still sort of sucky, particularly because I was still going to bed at midnight. It's hard to enjoy the fact that they slept from 8pm through until 6am when it's still dark out and you're oddly more exhausted then you were when you were waking up to feed them every three hours.

However, the past week, Addison has been fighting us to the point of exhaustion, She refuses to go to bed. How does a three year old refuse to go to sleep? Well, since you asked…

It begins with a normal bedtime routine. Dinner. Bath. Teeth. Movie. Bed. Yes, I said movie. Clearly I am in need of much deserved peace. Terrible parenting? Maybe. Do I care? NO!

Most nights they are sleeping long before the movie is over. 8pm.
This past week she has come running out of her room with a slue of demands. Another movie. I have to pee. I have to poop. I need a kiss. I want a hug. I need a blanket. Ice water. I hungry. I need socks. My eye hurts. My knee hurts. My butt hurts.

Yes, her butt hurts…

Which all translates to I want to sleep in Mommy’s bed.

As you can imagine, by 12am we I cave. Addison comes running into our bed. I am exhausted. I want to sleep.

She does not immediately fall to sleep; instead she begins rolling around hitting, kicking & head butting me, tapping on the headboard, tossing pillows about…

After I have finally worn out the “Addison go to sleep” it is 1am; she is finally sleeping.

6am. Jackson is up and ready to eat. I need my fucking coffee.

But what they don't realize is that I need my Goddamn beauty sleep.
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Day 69
Pumping gas

Only in my house & Day 68. 297 Days Left.

Addison: “Mommy, I have a boogie”

Mommy: “ok, so get a piece of toilet paper” Addison running down the hall…”and don’t forget to close the bathroom door!”

Addison: “here mommy, get my boogie now”

Mommy: “Did you remember to close the door?”

Addison: “Yes”

Well, you can expect my surprise when I pass the bathroom and find this


Only in my house would you find a balloon in the toilet.
suppose, that is what I get for tying a rubber duck to the balloon string.

I guess someone forgot to close the door.
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Day 68
after making mud soup