The circle of life for a stay-at-home-mom & Day 107. 258 Days Left.

It all began Sunday afternoon…

As previously posted, Sunday we decided to take apart Jackson’s crib and transition him to a toddler bed. Today I can say what the fuck were we thinking? We decided on the toddler bed for two reasons 1) he was climbing out of the crib. Though he never got hurt, this paranoid mom watched a Dr’s episode and Dr. Sears mentioned that any baby climbing out of their crib should be put into a toddler bed; climbing out can result in serious injury. Me: we have to get a toddler bed NOW! 2) Addison decided that their room, when the TV is off, is spooky and she talked me into allowing her to invade Jackson’s crib. The two of them had no space to comfortably sleep. Me: this is never going to work. We have to get a toddler bed NOW! We did exactly that. I will point out that even though Jackson was climbing out of the crib; when it was nap and bedtime, you never seen a baby happier to climb in than him. He loved his crib. What I loved is he slept during naps and through the night. So what were we thinking? Right?

We have been out of the house since Friday. Jackson has not had a good nap in five days. You may think sans nap he would be eager to bed earlier but with Jackson it is the exact opposite. If he does not get a decent nap he has an awful time sleeping at night. The past two nights he has been up until 11:30pm- 12:00am and waking at his normal time 7:00am. He is cranky.

Cranky Jackson= cranky mom.

While out, the three cats and three dogs have had the run off the house. Five days. As you can imagine, five days without vacuuming and moping while owing six pests pets, the house is a fucking pig sty.

Messy house= cranky mom.

Today, our first full day home, I decided to clean… I dusted, having to stop every five minutes to get Jackson and each time he would throw a fit complete with screaming and head banging. Once I made my way to the hall, I smelt something burning; the dryer. Fantastic. Call the hubby to bitch. He tells me if I notice smoke to take the kids and dogs with me to get the landlord. “But the house is a fucking mess. I can’t have him come in here.” Hang up. Light a couple of candles to rid the house of the pungent animal odor. Vacuum as quickly as possible. Lock the kids and dogs up in the nursery so they are together in one place. Mop the floors. The mop breaks. Clean the bathroom that has the washer and dryer in it and notice the smell is gone. Think to myself: good the hubby can check it when he gets home. Lay the kids down for a nap. Jackson won’t stay in toddler bed. Lay the kids down for a nap. Repeat. Call mom to bitch. Go pee, the toilet doesn’t flush; try again it starts filling up. Seriously! Lay the kids down for a nap. Sit down with a cup of coffee. Start this blog post. Lay Jackson down for a nap. Hear a popping sound and notice one of the candles flaming. Try to blow out candle but continues to flame. Grab pot holder rush candle to the sink and douse with water. Lay Jackson down for a nap. Think to myself: why did we take down his fucking crib on Sunday!

Tonight the crib is going back up so all will be right with this mom's universe.
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day 107
"Look at the camera for mommy"

Love how neither are looking and both wearing the same expression

I ain't afraid of no ghost & Day 106. 259 Days Left.

We hit a new phase.

Saturday evening, after we finished dinner; I asked Addison to pick up her toys and put them in her toy box. She threw a fit about wanting to put them else where, anywhere, “just not in my room!” Me thinking she was having a random drama-tantrum did what any wonderful mom would do; I screamed at the top of my lungs yelled “Addison go put your toys away now or I am going to put them in the trash." Which, of course, only prompted more screaming and crying.

I clear the table and go into her room, only to find her hiding behind her shoe cabinet, holding the toys. Something was wrong. I called in the hubby and we ask her what was going on and why she wouldn’t put her toys away. “The TV is spooky.” We ask what about the TV is spooky and she freaks out… “no, no, no! I am sorry it is not spooky.” I tell her if the TV is not spooky she can put her toys away. She ran over to the toy box, not taking her eyes off the TV, tossed the toys towards the box, ran away so quickly she tripped over other toys lying on the floor. She was hiding in the corner of the room crying. The hubby asked if she would rather us take the TV down. “NO!” Well now what in the hell do we do?

Trying to figure out exactly what was bothering her we attempt another round of questions. Addison, who has absolutely no problem saying what she wants, needs, likes, or doesn’t, would not tell us what was going on in that little toddler mind. We ask “is it the dark?” "NO!" (Addison has never been afraid of the dark. She doesn't even like a nightlight on. We wait until after she is sleeping before turning on the light), “Is it a movie bothering you?” "NO,NO! but you have to put a movie on now!" Maybe we are getting somewhere… “Is the TV spooky when there is a movie on?” "NO, just when the red light is on. When the red light is on the TV is spooky when the green light is on the movie is on and the TV is not spooky.” Seriously, could it be that our 3 ½ year old is smart enough to play this game? She knows how to get the TV on and stay on?

We are ready for bed. Their TV on. Baths finished. Room clean. Jackson in his crib. Addison crying about sleeping alone in her bed… here we go again. She wants to sleep with Jackson in his crib. We explained that there is not enough room for both her and Jackson. Insert another dram-tantrum. Now it is 11pm. I am tired, the hubby tired, Jackson tired, dogs tired, Addison is having a meltdown. She wins again. I toss her in the crib with Jackson, his must have pillow pet, her must have green pillow and her two dozen Toy Story friends which ”will help protect her from the spooky TV.” They slept in the crib together the entire night. Then again Sunday afternoon during nap time.

Not wanting her to get into the habit of "needing" to be a pain in the ass in the bed with Jackson; after their afternoon nap we went out and purchased Jackson his very own toddler bed. Let the fun begin!

After they each made a few trips to the livingroom and bounced on the beds for half hour; 11:30pm they were finally sleeping.

The hubby and I are pretty damn tired why aren’t they?
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Day 106
Playdate at the park

Beauty Sleep & Day 69. 296 Days Left.

Apparently 6am is the new 8am around here.

A few days ago, when Jackson was waking up at 6am it wasn't so bad well, because Addison was actually going to bed at a decent hour and sleeping through the night.

Seriously who am I kidding? It was still sort of sucky, particularly because I was still going to bed at midnight. It's hard to enjoy the fact that they slept from 8pm through until 6am when it's still dark out and you're oddly more exhausted then you were when you were waking up to feed them every three hours.

However, the past week, Addison has been fighting us to the point of exhaustion, She refuses to go to bed. How does a three year old refuse to go to sleep? Well, since you asked…

It begins with a normal bedtime routine. Dinner. Bath. Teeth. Movie. Bed. Yes, I said movie. Clearly I am in need of much deserved peace. Terrible parenting? Maybe. Do I care? NO!

Most nights they are sleeping long before the movie is over. 8pm.
This past week she has come running out of her room with a slue of demands. Another movie. I have to pee. I have to poop. I need a kiss. I want a hug. I need a blanket. Ice water. I hungry. I need socks. My eye hurts. My knee hurts. My butt hurts.

Yes, her butt hurts…

Which all translates to I want to sleep in Mommy’s bed.

As you can imagine, by 12am we I cave. Addison comes running into our bed. I am exhausted. I want to sleep.

She does not immediately fall to sleep; instead she begins rolling around hitting, kicking & head butting me, tapping on the headboard, tossing pillows about…

After I have finally worn out the “Addison go to sleep” it is 1am; she is finally sleeping.

6am. Jackson is up and ready to eat. I need my fucking coffee.

But what they don't realize is that I need my Goddamn beauty sleep.
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Day 69
Pumping gas

My Rock-A-Bye

I sometimes forget that my daughter is only 2 ½.

What I mean by that is… she spends everyday watching me hold her baby brother while feeding him (he is 10 months) and rocking him to sleep every night. She is so independent and such a wonderful helper I sometimes forget she too needs to be held.

She gets countless kisses and hugs during the day, I praise her constantly for her help and the wonderful job she does, we play together, laugh together and she is loved.

On this particular night she asked to be “rock-a-byed like Jackson”… so of course I obliged. I held her for an hour, rocking her and singing her nightly lullabies, while stroking her hair and rubbing her back. I missed this- she is my baby girl and I missed holding her…

I felt her breathing get heavy and knew she was sleeping. I gave her a final kiss goodnight and thanked her for asking mommy to rock-a-bye her.

Yes, she is only 2 ½ and I do need to be reminded of that.

After all, I am 30 and while my husband was working nights I would go to my parents, a couple of times a week, with the kids to spend the night. (At the time we were being harassed by a downstairs neighbor, it was worse when my husband was not home. This is another story)… I would go to my parents to seek the comfort of my mom. My dad knew on these nights he would be sleeping on the sofa for his wife, daughter, granddaughter and grandson would be sleeping in the bed (one of the rooms is a nursery & the other a spare). Yes, I too needed the comfort of my mom- why would I expect anything less of my 2 ½ year old.

So tonight I would like to say thank you to my beautiful baby girl for allowing me the comfort of rocking you to sleep- what a wonderful way to end this night…mommy loves you more than any words could ever express.