The day that keeps on giving

This is very rare… two posts in one day. I am typically lucky if I fit one in.

Wondering what could possibly be so important that it warrants two posts in a day?

Well, it all began last night...

10:45pm: I am exhausted and fed up enough I shut the kiddos TV off. (yes, I am the mom who lets her kids fall asleep with the TV on. Go ahead judge me. I do.)

Around 11:00pm: (the last I looked at the clock) the hubby and I feel asleep lying on the nursery floor. Probably long before the kiddos because just before I shut off the TV, they were showing no signs of going to sleep.

12:00am: I wake up, body aching from sleeping on the nursery floor, mumble a couple of swears words under my breath as I try to pry my fat ass off the floor. I wake the hubby doing so. Jackson is soundly sleeping. Addison stirring. We creep out of the room so not to make any noise.

1:15am: finally we lay down in bed.

2:30am: Addison wakes crying. Take her potty and settle her in between the hubby and me.

4:00am: Jackson wakes crying. Change his diaper and settle him in between the hubby, Addison, me and a dog or two.

5:30am: Hubby’s alarm goes off.

6:00am: wake to the hubby getting ready for work- he is late and being excessively noisey.

6:15am: wake to the hubby loudly shouting “No! Jackson!”

6:30am: force my ass out of bed.

The day greeted me with exhaustion. Poured my first of many cups of coffee and turned my "off duty" sign to “on”.

Looking forward to naptime- which for Jackson thankfully came early today- I put both the kids in bed and settled down in their room waiting for them to fall asleep. Jackson did with in minutes. Addison, never did. She woke Jackson within an hour and started dozing herself. My thought: she sure as hell not taking a nap if I can’t; especially after waking her brother so soon. I woke her and decided we would take the dogs for their walk than have lunch.

Made lunch, Jackson devoured two bowls of pasta. Addison took two bites and with that said ”I am not eating, I am not hungry.” Not in the mood to play games, I told her she was sitting at the table until her lunch was finished. She did just that… well, until she fell asleep, at 5pm.

I figured I would leave her and wake her for dinner. A few short minutes later I hear “I am not hungry mommy. I am not eating. I am mad at you!” She picked up exactly where she left off.

I told her to go potty. While doing so I started the potatoes for dinner. When a few minutes passed and I did not hear her call for me, I decided to check. She was peeing with the toilet lid down and Jackson standing on the lid behind her. I stood there briefly, in amazement, turned around and walked out to laugh… which is a good thing because laughing kept me from completely loosing it. (I have come to understand what it really means)

I went back into the bathroom; asked what the hell she was doing. “Oh, I so sorry mommy. I don’t know.” Clearly half asleep and no way to get her to stop midstream, I place towels around to catch the rest off the run off. When she finished, I throw her in the shower and run out to grab something to clean the pee from around, behind, along side, the lid and between the seat of the toilet. Upon returning this time, I find Jackson in the shower, completely dressed, with her.

I dry them, put Jackson in a dry diaper and tell Addison to put on new unddies. Deposit the kids on the living room floor, and get back to making dinner.

Just then I hear a sound. A sound I recognized immediately. Run out to the living room to find Jackson pulling out our very extensive DVD collection.

As I am cleaning up yet another mess and hoping dinner is not completely burnt, the hubby walks through the door. At this point I am a very cranky mom… I turn to him “the next time you decide to wash the blender/ food processor blade, could you be so kind not to leave the blade facing up, so that I may avoid another prick.”

Oh and I woke up with a huge zit on my chin. La-dee-fucking-da!