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Tuesday, February 22, 2011

The not so perfect and oh so tired. & Day 62. 303 Days Left.

The problem I see with a lot of Facebook posts and an overwhelming majority of blogs is this: People only ever talk about the 1% of things that are perfection. Perfect pictures, edited as such, perfect posts about a perfect meal (not mentioning the fact that you’d fed your kids cereal for breakfast, snacks for lunch and leftovers for dinner the five days up to leading that), how positive and perfect you're feeling, turning illness into a great learning opportunity, talking about how great your kids are when we all know they're driving you up the wall more often than not, the highlights of a trip that leave out the fact you have to stop at every other rest stop for a pee “non-pee” break, the fact that your one year old vomited all over the car seat & himself while in protest to the length of the drive, the screaming over who gets to watch what DVD and the never ending “are we there yet” from a three year old.

Typically, I try to be honest in my posting. I’d hate to make someone feel bad by getting a less than realistic view of my life and think I’m anything close to perfect. I’m not.

Yes, like others, I do have good days, some really good days and the occasional “wow, my kids are really great and made this day easy” days. And yes, I do post about those days. But for the most part my days, as a stay at home mom, are about same.

With that being said, I Am Tired.

Exhausted really.

Correction, Fucking Exhausted.

I am tired because I basically have not slept in four years. Yes, Addison is three but I do count the 10 months I spent incubating her. She gets up every night to pee, and although it is nice that I do not wake up to a wet bed, most mornings, it would be even lovelier if she just went in on her own and went back to bed, instead of waking me up and requiring a chaperon for what is definitely a one-person job. When she is not waking to pee, she is coming into our bed complaining screaming about her legs, feet and knees hurting. I understand growing pains are excruciating but this goes on for two hours. The entire time I pray she does not wake Jackson. On the nights she is not waking, Jackson takes over. Teething. Diaper changes. Something. Always something.

Before you anti-complaining, sugar-coating mommies mention it- I am fully aware these are the responsibilities I signed up for when becoming a mother. I get it. None the less, the thought, most days, does not make my job any easier…

I am tired because, as usual, Addison was literally in. my. face at 7am asking when I was going to make breakfast, cause she's "really, really hungry." Probably because she barely ate her dinner do to the fact she "wanted peanut butter and jelly” for the one millionth time.

I am tired because, all before 8:00 am this morning, I made three meals for two children (two for Jackson because the first he threw to the dogs), each with its own variation, each with a different beverage, and each with a lot of whining. I cleaned up vomit of various types, cat, dog and Jackson’s. I had to wash and change a crib because Jackson vomited all over it and himself. I unloaded a dishwasher and loaded the breakfast dishes.

I am tired because my kids fight every second of every day. They fight over everything. And Nothing. At the same time. They are currently in two different rooms watching two different movies. It's bad parenting, but it affords me peace.

I am tired because it is a battle to get my kids to eat. Anything. So I offer Addison chocolate milk and Jackson a bottle so they feel somewhat full. Obviously not going for mother of the year. I choose my battles.

But, despite all of this, it is safe to say that I am not nearly as tired as Jackson.
Who would not be falling asleep during lunch had he taken a nap when I put him down.

Day 62

Snack Time- Watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse


Mitzi G. said...

I love this post & thank you for saying what I think we all feel some days.......most days :)

Christina said...

Oh your post rings so true. That was my day yesterday...And I promise my readers will hear about that day soon. I love the picture of them watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. Adorable.

Crikey mUm said...

the video is many times have I been through this...actually tonight is a prime example. Great blog.

Skye said...

Great post. Don't you feel at least a wee bit better now that you got that out!
I will agree with you on teh facebook thing. They say people even get depressed b/c they compare their lives to the "Seemingly perfect" lives of what people choose to post on facebook and allow you to know. Of course someone is not going to post their husband just cheated on them with the neighbor or their kid tried to beat up 3 kids in class today. Nope... only going to see the stuff they want you to see. With that said, I truly enjoy facebook... and take it with a grain of salt :)
Have a better day! :)

Skye said...

p.s. - thank you so much for posting my blog over there on the right- that means so much to me! :)

Alessandra @ Tribal Times said...

So true! Who needs perfection? It's the things that go wrong that I remember fondly.

Anonymous said...

YUP! that pretty much is my life too :) Most days i just want to put my feet up and have a coffee and just take a breath, but then I hear my 3.5 year old needs her this and that, or she needs to wear a certain pair of shoes, or she wants me to "talk this dolly"- some days are brilliant, but most days' I do my best, and just keep on keeping on. thanks for posting something that is very honest and true

ThatsAWrapMom said...

1. I have a 7 month old and am at home with him and work part time sometimes I wonder what I am doing wrong because I do have time to surf the web or write my blog.
2. I would totally rather blog than clean the house.
3. I have forgot to feed my son lunch twice now since we started with the 3 meal thing. (he was a late eater)
4. I am a moron and often forget his diaper not because it grosses me out but because I just don't think about it and he does not cry about it.
5. I don't know what time my son wakes up on most days because he does not cry in his crib so I wake up around the same time daily I go to his room and often he is staring at me waiting.
6. I let him fall off the couch a few weeks ago because I did not know he could sit up from squishy things.
7. I sometimes make my husband go get everything for me when he is home so he can know how it feels.
8. I am sure I do not read to my son enough and I need to nip it in the butt.
9. Sometimes I don't bathe him because I am too tired.
10. I suck at packing my diaper bag!
Thanks for posting too fun!