I remember bringing Jackson home from the hospital; Addison wanted nothing to do with him, I was exhausted and knew in five days the hubby would be returning to work. I remember thinking it was difficult enough dealing with Addison when she was a newborn how in the hell am I going to do a newborn and a one in a half year old?!
I was frightened that the needs and demands of a newborn and toddler would not mix well. I knew I would be changing diapers and handling feedings almost all day. Addison was not yet potty trained and I was not going to start while trying to adjust to life with a newborn.
As the months past I kept asking “is this going to get any easier?”…
it never did.
Addison hated Jackson. She became so resentful. As he started moving around, if he touched her, she screamed. She threw the biggest pint sized meltdown you have ever seen. She did not want him any where near her; except for nap time. She loved sleeping with him. I remember thinking, maybe there is hope…
That was until Jackson began crawling and pulling himself up. Addison wanted no part. She would throw various toys, hit, push, scream in his face or run him over with her cozy coupe car. She spent a large portion of the day in time out. This is not how it was supposed to be… raising two children was extremely hard. I was exhausted. I wanted to pull out all my hair and scream. On days when both kids were crying I would start crying too. Seriously, what were we thinking?
The most difficult part of the day seemed to be walking our three dogs.
People always stopped me just to say things like…
"You sure do have your hands full."
"I know you didn't plan it that way, did you?"
“What came first the children or all the dogs?”
“How many times a day do you have to do this?”
I got angry. Really? You need to stop me to ask these stupid questions. You can obviously see I am busy!
I was terrified to leave the house; fearing I would never be able to handle the two of them out at the same time.
I woke up one morning and Jackson was one. In a few short weeks, Addison was three and life just seemed to be easy as pie.
Addison is amazing with Jackson. You see the love and concern in her eyes.(When did this happen?)
The days of that frustrated sad mommy who thought her life was spinning out of control are gone.
We enjoy our daily walk with the dogs (rain or shine… Addison, Jackson & the pug more so rain). People still stop and ask me how I handle it but now I respond with “I have two amazing children who make it very easy.”