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Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Mommy Confessions: How I maintain my Mother of the Year Status & Day 87. 278 Days Left.

Just a few of my not so perfect mommy moments...

1. I bribe Addison with chocolate, cookies, $1 toys and sometimes family… when I want her to do something like clean her room I will tell her she will get something above when she finishes and it has to be done correctly. So I keep these things in a secret place for when these "bribing times" arise.

(Note to readers: I DO NOT keep family stashed in a secret place~
they are NOT locked in a closet in my house. I simply tell Addison she will not be going to their houses or they will not be coming to ours.
Just thought I would clarify.)

2. I lie… really white lies but Addison does not know the difference. I am afraid of what I am teaching her… it is ok to lie. I tell her we will come back and get the toy or movie she wants to prevent a pint sized meltdown in the middle of a store. I need to stop this. Now!

3. When we are out running errands, at the mall or we are home and I am busy cleaning, I will give the kids sippy cups of milk so they “feel” full. This way I do not have to stop in the middle of what I am doing to feed them. I sometimes just need to get done without everything dragging on all day.

4. We are STILL co-sleeping. Not every night but a few times a week. And on those nights Addison comes into bed with us, if Jackson is still awake, I grab him. He has never been a co-sleeper but I love the comfort of them next to me so I force him to sleep in our bed.

I have come to realize, this is not good for me, not good for the hubby, not good for either of them, not good for our aching bodies and certainly not good for our marriage.

5. Most days, instead of doing the laundry or cleaning the house I surf the web. My favorite stops Zulily for sundresses for Addison and Gap for plaid shorts and Polo shirts for Jackson. I will also use this time to facebook, write a blog post or catch on my some of my favorite mama blogs.

Working on my Wifey of the Year status…

6. I truly do not want to send my kids to public school. This is a constant battle between the hubby and me.

7. I yell. I yell a lot. I yell loud. Many times, after being pushed too much by my two strong willed children and after being frustrated from a thousand times of telling them "No!" or "Stop doing that!" yelling seems all I can do to get my point across. It happens no matter how hard I try not to… before you point it out; apparently, I am not trying all that hard.

8. I feel isolated as a stay at home mom. Then the mommy guilt kicks in for feeling this way.

I hate mommy guilt… I feel it every second of the day.
I loved a post written by Cynthia at My life as Mom on this very subject: Not Guilty. Check it out and tell me what you think.
Do you have Mommy Guilt?

9. I read 15 books to both kids each day, I teach Addison a new spelling word each week (at three she is up to four letter words and spelling 10 different words), I taught her to count to 20 and how to recognize her letters and numbers and I still feel guilty because I feel as though I am not doing enough.

10. It really pisses me off when some moms say they are so tired and have no time for themselves, yet their kids are in school or daycare all week. Then there are the moms, after the work/school week, which ship their kids off to Grandma and Grandpa or just whoever will take them so they can go shopping, see a movie or eat out ALONE. Geesh, these moms really have no fucking clue.

What are your Mommy Confessions? I would love to hear them.

Day 87

Easter Photos


Oh Gorgeous Baby said...

I do the shop thing they get older they wise up but if it stops a tantrum then and there I'm doing it!

Alison@Mama Wants This said...

Your kids are beautiful. Don't beat yourself up too much. I still co-sleep with my 16 month old and sometimes, yes, I feel guilty. But nothing beats that warm, snuggly, baby smell and feel. We only live once, let's live it as best as we can!

OneMommy said...

Such cute pics! I would love to still be able to cosleep with my little guy... He's almost 2. Sometimes at Grandma's we do, but he thinks it's play time then... He's my youngest and our last, so you got to spoil 'em!

Skye said...

Wow lot's of stuff to ponder... Kudos to you for caring enough to read that many books every day to your children - that ius simply incredible and what a great thing for them to experience & learn!
I'm not a stay at home mom, so I can't even pretend to know how different it is. I won't lie, I still do things for me ... and I don't have any guilt. When I go shopping, Jules comes with us (me) usually anyway... I still get my nails done, and Julianna hangs out with Daddy when I do that. That is the wonderful thing about having a husband that is perfectly capable & does it all! :)

We never co-slept and I don't have any guilt about that. I agree with you that in the long run it's not "good" for the relationship. WHen we go to bed, that is our time ...

White lies - nothing wrong with that. Sometimes you have to do it (I would think) so that you can get through a certain situation. :)

have a nice day!

Rosann said...

Ok, my fellow blogging mommy friend...we are so on the same wave length this week! Yesterday, I wrote down in my notepad..."write my mommy failures list." Then I read this today. So funny, so real, so human. You do have beautiful children and they look SO happy and SO loved. You are a GREAT mom! But I understand and totally get it. I too, have mommy guilt every single day about one thing or another. More recently, it was about the pile of laundry that had built up so much my daughter had no clean pajamas to wear and I had to dig in her dirty clothes hamper to pull out a pair for the night. {I have since done the laundry}

You know what really makes me mad? Have you ever watched the Housewives of Orange County? THEY make me furious! Talking about how hard it is to be a stay at home mom and raise their kids, yet they have a full time nanny on staff doing all the work!

Oh and by the way. I'm a screamer too. I hate it. I try my best not to scream, but all too often I have to scream louder than my girls to get them to HEAR the words coming out of my mouth. Otherwise, I'm just some strange background noise in their very busy little world. I even bought a book called Scream Free Parenting, because I wanted to stop my bad habit. It's just hard some days.

Thanks for this post. :)


Life by Cynthia said...

Thank you for the mention. You are wonderful. Also, I want to thank you for not making me feel bad about my confession - not feeling guilty makes me feel guilty sometimes. ♥ Cynthia

P.S. I really enjoy & appreciate your thought provoking posts! You are awesome!

Becky said...

You and I seem to have a few of the same failures. Like bribery - I promised myself I wouldn't do that and here I am doing it and yelling. Oh my gosh, the yelling.
You're doing a great job!

JennyBean said...

I do a lot of that, especially the bribing and the white lies. And if there's extremely bad behavior going on, I start taking away toys, but you never start with the Toy de Jour because that will cause a meltdown and the fear that the Toy de Jour is a big motivation for being good.