No, I am NOT pregnant.
I do seem to have the brain that goes along with pregnancy minus the precious little baby growing.
Well, in my case, we can call it stay-at-home-mommy-of-two-toddlers brain.
It is a wonder I manage to get the kids fed and dressed, at all. I have caught myself putting Addison’s pink Princess Pull-Ups on Jackson, giving Addison his bottles, putting Addison in Jackson’s booster seat, going to put Jackson on Elmo potty seat while Addison is looking at me in bewilderment doing her pee-pee dance and even putting the wrong shoes on the other.
As far as around the house; I am now keeping the cereal, bread and peanut butter in the frig and the chocolate syrup, jelly and juice in the pantry because that is where they end up.
Perhaps I can blame the above on the cranky teether and the toddler making a very difficult transition from the Terrible Two’s to the Holy Fuck Three’s.
First the cranky teether; Poor guy screams and rubs his face constantly. Nothing seems to help and I have tried EVERYTHING! Did the Humphreys because so many Mama’s swore by it; like it was magic… “use the Humphreys and you will sleep tonight”. I used the Humphreys and the shit ended up in the trash. Tried frozen carrots and washcloths, Baby Orajel, an assortment of teethers in every color, shape and size (even vibrating), mesh teething bags filled with fresh frozen fruits. Yes, I have tried it all. If it was marketed for teething I purchased it and it probably ended up in the trash. That is except Tylenol. I REFUSE to unnecessarily medicate. Just wondering, how many teeth does a baby need anyway? Really.
Now on to the cranky almost three year old I call my sweet baby girl. AHHHHHH! She is a screaming at the top of her lungs, “NO”, “I WANT”, “IT’s MINE”, “GET IT FOR ME-NOW” temper-tantrum throwing brat disguised as my sweet beautiful little girl. Seriously, what the fuck happened over night?
When people tell you “just wait it only gets worse”, you really have no idea what they mean until you hit worse. Well hello worse, my name is mommy, I am running out of hair to pull now working on the eyebrows. Could you please take it easy on me?
So, sorry hubby. This is why when you get home from work breakfast meats are pulled out rather than dinner and why bath time is all yours and why I am so miserable to deal with come 10:30pm. And from what I understand: It Only Gets Worse!