I wrote about some of my most disgusting toddler experiences thus far.
However, none can compare to this past weekend…
We went to a good friends baby shower. It was at a park so I packed a diaper bag accordingly. I must say after two children I am a diaper bag packing pro- I digress.
I decided to not only pack Jackson a spare set of clothes (he would definitely need it) but I packed Addison one just to be safe. It must be mommy’s intuition.
I will elaborate in a bit.
Addison is potty trained- she has been for a year; mostly accident free and very good about telling us when she needs to go potty. In addition to packing the change of clothes I decided to throw in a pair of pull-ups (which are only used for nap & bedtimes. Just taking precaution. I figured if she did have an accident (I was thinking more along the lines of pee) wet underwear and pants combined with dirt would make an awful muddy mess… little did I know what she had in store for mommy.
We get to the park and I remind her to let us or an adult know when she had to go potty- she was doing great. I was enjoying my time with my girlfriend, Justin was hanging out with Jackson and Addison was playing with her new friends. It was a gorgeous day. Perfect.
Suddenly I hear Addison… “Mommy, Mommy, Mommy hurry I got to go poopies.” I grab Elmo potty seat and take her into the surprising clean bathroom (which was five feet away from the party pavilion). She goes, I wipe her, she sit back and I notice shit on her shirt. After a certain age it is no longer poopies, it is shit. It is not cute. It is gross. Well, how the hell did that happen? I then notice her underwear, her pants, her leg, her Elmo potty…what is going on? She had shit everywhere- all over the inside of her pants, her clothes were covered. It. Was. A. Mess. A disgustingly huge and smelly mess. We were in a tiny cube and there was shit covering everything. I run and grab the diaper bag while Addison is waiting and crying about being covered in poop. I begin the clean up process which takes 20 minutes. Finally, getting her clean, putting her in a change of clothes (which were soaking wet because one of the sippie cups leaked all over… so much for my pro status) and cleaning the Elmo potty seat. Women coming in and out and laughing hearing the conversation Addison and I are having. We leave the cubical and I begin drying her juice soaked change of clothes under the hand dryer. Addison is standing there in her new pull-ups when my expecting girlfriend walks in and asks “what happened, you guys have been in here a while, is everything ok?” I ask her “do you really want to know?” I get her dressed and it is as though nothing happened.
An hour later, my hubby comes up to me. “We have another problem.” Are you fucking kidding me. What the hell is the matter with this girl? The bathroom is literally five feet away. So here we go again. Me, Addison, a tiny bathroom and more shit.
I have had my fair share of poopie moments, as most mothers have. I have been pooped on, cleaned up a dog poop eating infant and my share of finger-painting experiments; but this by far was the worst. I can handle "when shit happens" while at home. No one sees the mess; I have a shower, change of clothes and washing machine fully available. At the park I had nothing but the hope that no one smelt the remains of shit on Addison or me.