Just one more thing she will have to tell the Psychiatrist & Day 122. 243 Days Left.

I open the blinds to let the sunlight through the kid‘s room.

There she is; she quickly pulls all eight legs in. Fucking great, I mumble under my breath. I had no idea two little bodies were standing behind me. “What mommy? What is it?” A spider, I tell her. “Can I see her?” she asks. I point to the top of the window. Thankfully she was outside, for now.

“Where mommy? There?” pointing to the center of the window… I look, “Are you kidding me! Another one!” Addison looks at me and says “mommy go call daddy now, he needs to clean them.” (clean means kill) And yes, daddy needs to clean them before they get inside. Because they do get inside. Every. Last. One. Of. Them. Bastards!

I go to the kitchen to call the hubby; suddenly Addison lets out a terrible shriek. Jackson cries. I run into the room knowing just what it was… another spider. Addison, huffing and puffing dramatically (the only way Addison communicates), points to the bottom of the window and tells me the daddy spider is moving. I go to look and daddy spider is indeed moving. And indeed is a daddy spider. No, not a daddy long legs but a huge golden daddy sized spider. I grab a trembling Addison in one arm and a crying Jackson (clearly upset about Addison’s shriek) in the other and dump them into the living room. Addison is so terrified of bugs she makes me look brave (and that is saying something).

Yes, it is spider season in Coral Springs. Apparently there are so many that they fight for any available space which drives clusters into the Sankey house. Uninvited. But it is more than clusters. It's actually a convention. A big, giant, international spider convention, televised to all their spider family and friends, inviting them to come on over. We are over-run. The house. The balcony. My car. Nothing is off limits.

Finally able to get the hubby on the phone, I explain, as dramatically as Addison, he needs to get home NOW and kill the spiders on the kid’s window. NOW! RIGHT NOW! And that he does. He made up some excuse for having to leave work (one of the luxuries of having children) and he made his way home.

The moment the hubby walks through the door, Addison frantically tells him about the spiders on her bedroom window. “You got to go kill them daddy.” In as little as 45 minutes, clean has become kill. "Daddy, go get the spray. Hurry.” And he did. The hubby grab the jumbo bottle of Ortho home defense max and headed into the kid’s bedroom.

Addison, suddenly emboldened by the presence of poison, wanted to follow us into the room to watch the unwelcomed pest die. She is so my child.

Addison and I point out the offenders; I chase her and Jackson out of the room and oversee the operation from the farthest corner. I like knowing where they are and that they are in fact dead.

Before the hubby removes the screen (which was the only way to reach the daddy spider) I have him saturate the inside of the window. Not wanting them to have the option of running into the room. He takes the screen out and shoots away. They begin dropping. And more than just the three. I see what I think are flies coming through the window and as the supervisor I point out that flies are getting in. The hubby turns to me “those are not flies. Get out of here!”

Before leaving the room I hear Addison on the other side of the door… “DIE, FUCKIN’ SPIDERS, DIE!”

I am so proud.

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Day 122
Summertime or for Addison, Just Another Day

A Day with the Not So Potty Trained Toddler & Day 50. 315 Days Left

Toddlers are gross.

I wrote about some of my most disgusting toddler experiences thus far.

However, none can compare to this past weekend…

We went to a good friends baby shower. It was at a park so I packed a diaper bag accordingly. I must say after two children I am a diaper bag packing pro- I digress.

I decided to not only pack Jackson a spare set of clothes (he would definitely need it) but I packed Addison one just to be safe. It must be mommy’s intuition.

I will elaborate in a bit.

Addison is potty trained- she has been for a year; mostly accident free and very good about telling us when she needs to go potty. In addition to packing the change of clothes I decided to throw in a pair of pull-ups (which are only used for nap & bedtimes. Just taking precaution. I figured if she did have an accident (I was thinking more along the lines of pee) wet underwear and pants combined with dirt would make an awful muddy mess… little did I know what she had in store for mommy.

We get to the park and I remind her to let us or an adult know when she had to go potty- she was doing great. I was enjoying my time with my girlfriend, Justin was hanging out with Jackson and Addison was playing with her new friends. It was a gorgeous day. Perfect.

Suddenly I hear Addison… “Mommy, Mommy, Mommy hurry I got to go poopies.” I grab Elmo potty seat and take her into the surprising clean bathroom (which was five feet away from the party pavilion). She goes, I wipe her, she sit back and I notice shit on her shirt. After a certain age it is no longer poopies, it is shit. It is not cute. It is gross. Well, how the hell did that happen? I then notice her underwear, her pants, her leg, her Elmo potty…what is going on? She had shit everywhere- all over the inside of her pants, her clothes were covered. It. Was. A. Mess. A disgustingly huge and smelly mess. We were in a tiny cube and there was shit covering everything. I run and grab the diaper bag while Addison is waiting and crying about being covered in poop. I begin the clean up process which takes 20 minutes. Finally, getting her clean, putting her in a change of clothes (which were soaking wet because one of the sippie cups leaked all over… so much for my pro status) and cleaning the Elmo potty seat. Women coming in and out and laughing hearing the conversation Addison and I are having. We leave the cubical and I begin drying her juice soaked change of clothes under the hand dryer. Addison is standing there in her new pull-ups when my expecting girlfriend walks in and asks “what happened, you guys have been in here a while, is everything ok?” I ask her “do you really want to know?” I get her dressed and it is as though nothing happened.

An hour later, my hubby comes up to me. “We have another problem.” Are you fucking kidding me. What the hell is the matter with this girl? The bathroom is literally five feet away. So here we go again. Me, Addison, a tiny bathroom and more shit.

I have had my fair share of poopie moments, as most mothers have. I have been pooped on, cleaned up a dog poop eating infant and my share of finger-painting experiments; but this by far was the worst. I can handle "when shit happens" while at home. No one sees the mess; I have a shower, change of clothes and washing machine fully available. At the park I had nothing but the hope that no one smelt the remains of shit on Addison or me.

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Day 50
January Water Day in South Florida

They Are Gross and They Baffle Me & Day 34. 331 Days Left.

My mental capacity is diminished. Mostly because I am a stay at home mom and talk to a three and one year old all day. Therefore I have been having simple thoughts. Which are mostly amusing. My first thought is... kids are weird. Don't you think?

My kids will do things from time to time and no matter how I try to figure out the sense behind it. I'm just left curious.

Why, Jackson, would you eat Wrigley’s (our dogs) fresh poop? Didn’t you realize it smelt like something you would keep away from your mouth? And as far as the dog…thank you for pooping in the house you asshole.

Why are babies so curious about their poop that they have to take their diapers off and play in it? Makes for wonderful cleaning, especially with the help of dogs… just ask both Addison and Jackson!

Now this is something both my kids did; how about yours? Why do they poop in the bath tub? Addison did it frequently until about 15 months old and Jackson has done it about three times, he is now one.

Ever wonder what happens to that boogie once you decide to stop taking it from your child? Just ask Addison… it goes in your mouth. Really? Why? Ewww!

Why are disgusting things like dead bugs or, in this mornings case, Petunia’s (our pug’s) eye gunk so fascinating that they have to pick it up and give it a full inspection?

Why does Jackson find Addison using the potty to be so fascinating that he has to slip his hand in her stream?
Yes, that is a picture of Jackson playing in Addison full training potty.


Moving away from the ewww factor… Why does Jackson find it amusing to throw all of his food onto the floor? Every. Meal. He is hungry twenty minutes later and it plays out the very same way. Just Eat Your Damn Food!

Addison insists on having exactly 20 stuffed animals in her bed, and knows exactly what is missing, if I should attempt to remove something. Does that look comfortable?


Addison has no problem walking up to a stranger and letting them she has a whoo-ha and Jackson has a penis.

Jackson hates diaper changes. He gets so angry that he reaches down and tugs his penis hard enough he cries. So why if it hurts does he repeat this at every change?

Why do they taste things like crayons and play-doh? You can see by their reactions it is gross and yet they go back for seconds or thirds.

Finally, Why does Addison insist on running around the house naked even if she is freezing her little tushie off? And what a cute little tushie it is.

I am sure I will never know the answers to any of these.

So what strange things do your cute little munchkin heads do?

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Day 34
Addison look at mommy